Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I find myself convinced that this chapter of my life will not end up like the previous. I say to my friends "no, no, this one is different." Its in their laughter that I catch a quick glimpse of my trends, of my repetitions, and I desperately want to break free of the cyclical past that I also find comfort in. What a fucking conundrum! So I sit here outside (see previous post) drinking my glass of wine with headphones on, daydreaming of someone that may be able to break this shitty mold that I or they created. Thinking of her. Blah Blah Blah (get it?)
Monday, September 28, 2009
- Breakfast in front of the TV.
- Working out at the gym.
- Swimming in the indoor pool at the gym.
- Eating dinner in front of the TV.
- Being obsessed with Wii Tiger Woods Golf.
- Napping in my bed.
So as I write this it shall be duly noted that I am sitting on the outside porch where I have been spending the mass majority of my free time lately. I found myself feeling claustrophobic as of late being walled in and fixated on the television. The past two weeks I broke free of the chains that have kept me tethered to the indoors and decided that breakfast and coffee should be enjoyed al fresco. So shall down times of late afternoons and most importantly nights. I have set a sort of trend in the house where glasses of wine and or other beverages will be drank outside with the music blaring from open windows of the living room. Rodney has seemed to enjoy it as well and we have been conversing much more now rather than leaving it to the TV to dictate our thoughts and moods. An odd occurance of being locked out of the house today for over an hour after a ride led me with nothing to do other than nap on the lawn chair on the porch. During this 45 min. gem of a nap I didn't even listen to music as I had forgotten I had my ipod due to the soothing sounds of the winds wresting through the giant trees in front of out house.
Anyhow its time to kill the machine and grab another glass of wine. I will leave you with this quote from Anne Frank.
"The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature."
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Also during this off season I seem to be keeping the debauchery at bay. Sure I have gone out a few nights and have gotten hammered, but by and large I have kept a pretty mellow existence, maybe having a few glasses of wine, or a beer after work with some friends. This is nice because coupled with lifting and swimming my weight is really staying down and am only about 5 pounds over my race weight. I plan on starting my transition into base in the middle of Oct. and officially start base the first week of November.
The one thing that I always notice during the off season is how much time I have on my hands. Especially with my new job (still a waiter with a grad degree) because I no longer work days at all, and instead of 8 shifts a week I have 4-5. So in all of this free time my mind has been busy telling me how lonely I am at times and that racing my bike is a healthy drug that allows me to escape a lot of the things that are going on in my "real life". I have been pretty much single for a little over a year now and while I think it has been for the best a part of me is starting to think I could now handle meeting someone. But alas, November is close and I know once I begin base there is no room for anything new in life. So that gives me a month and a half to meet the perfect someone. I'm forecasting another single season. I'm also forecasting the fastest season yet full of wins and a legitimate points upgrade to the 3's! I guess I am doomed to not having it all so I'll take what I can get and be happy with it.
Sidenote: I have been swimming an average of 1300 yards every other day and my goal of a sub 30 second 50 yard swim is almost reached. I Swam a 32 second sprint 4 days ago. I know its not that fast but I really have never learned how to properly swim (I mean technique). So my friend Ryan who is a swim coach at the local community college showed me some basics when it comes to a freestyle stroke. I plan to capture my goal next week!